This holiday season may fill you with Glee
But I just don't feel the same way you see
I don't care about a manger
I don't care about a tree
I don't care about presents
(Unless they're for me)
The glistening lights don't do me much good
Just think how that poor forest feels
Now that it's missing some wood
The shopping’s a drag
Eggnog makes me gag
And what's that in my stocking?
Oh look...it's a rag!
That fat jolly man is really a brute
He’s crossing our borders
Your calling it “cute”
And those three men who were oh so wise
would never say "yes" to your mince meat pies
If the night was so silent then why are you singing
I’ve heard so many carols my ears are now ringing
If you offer me fruit cake
You can jump in a lake
I’d rather be in Tokyo during a giant earthquake!
And here is a thought that should keep us quit sober
Somehow the holiday season tends to start in October
You can call me a miser you can call me a grinch
Heck call me “Ebenezer Scrooge” I won’t even flinch
But like every holiday season I shall count down till May
Because the only think worse than Christmas
Is St. Valentine ’s Day!